Sham Mama, I miss you. Please come back.
Dearest Sham Mama,
How do I do this? How do I sit here and write about how much you mean to me knowing you will never see this? Sept 17,2020 from the day we lost you, I couldn’t get myself to write properly. I couldn’t make time to write an Eulogy for you because my heart still refuses to believe that we lost you and our lives have changed forever. Sham mama, there’s a lot I want to tell you, a lot that words cannot contemplate but let me start with a simplest yet straight from my heart, SORRY ! Sorry Mama, for not being able to meet you in the hospital, for not giving you a final good bye, and for not being able to be there for you in your final moments.
I have never in my life imagined something like this. This pandemic has been so harsh, I have never understood it’s intensity until you were admitted in the hospital due to Covid. I wished and wished and wished for you to come back home stronger, I prayed to every God I knew. Mom was scared, she would start and end her days in tears praying for you to recover. Harish was making rounds to the hospital every single day. Everyday with your condition worsening we prayed harder and harder but were never ready to loose you. With the loss of her dearest sibling, Mom lost a part of herself.
Because loosing you was so unfair! So unfair for someone who loved his family with all his heart, to not get a proper good bye from his loved ones. You absolutely did not deserved it mama.
I’m still not ready to move ahead in life knowing that you wouldn’t be able to see where I reach. Because I know you would be one of those few people who would be proud of my success or take care of me when I fail. I knew you were my rock. I knew you would be there for me every time I needed you. I never feared falling because I had the confidence you would pick me up from the debris. I don’t have that comfort now.
I will never forget the amount of love, care and support you showed on me when Dad was recovering from his Bypass surgery. I don’t know how else me, Mom and Harish would have surpassed it without you. Thanks a ton for everything mama. I love you so much.
If I could paint your heart, I would do it in gold. You were a gem. Handsome, tall and forever smiling. The fact that I would never get to see your beautiful smile again tears me apart mama. But I have it registered in my mind, I have your laugh reverberating in my ears. Remember when you and Thatha ( my grand father ) brought me a yellow turtle neck tee in my primary class? I wore it to school on my birthday and teacher’s told me I looked like a bright sunshine. It made me so happy, I can’t tell you how much. This is one of those hundreds of moments that me happy because of you.
I miss you so much mama, like so very much. I want to hug you one last time mama, I really wish I could. You thought me so much in all these years, now when I look back I’m only grateful for all the time we spent. Thanks for the many lessons mama, Rest in peace, purpose and power. Love you.
