Brown Parents and the game of Chess!
How Brown parents convince you to get married.
Hey there , Lovely People. Welcome to the rant of Brown Logic. As much as I love and embrace my brown culture and people, it’s failure of logic gets to my nerves sometimes( ALL THE FREAKING TIME ). I have always looked up to my brown icons- Hasan Minhaj, Lilly Singh, Jay and Radhi Shetty etc and I’m very proud of them. I have started to recently understand what they must have gone through to convince their Brown parents to choose unconventional careers and become the best at what they do. It is really tough because you can’t win a debate with people who don’t argue with logic but with the sentence- WHAT WILL PEOPLE SAY ! You are expected to follow the path of most brown people because that’s what makes you fit for a decent living. It is the safest solution because it is tried and tested by a bunch of other people already.
Growing up all the decisions like your degree, career, and marriage are all heavily influenced by your Parents and their logic of what is most safe. Here is a list of all the facts ( rational or irrational) your parents present before you to get you married. Let us compare these facts with my favorite game of Chess.
The Rook
You wake up one day and they straight up tell you that they are willing to get you married. You are still collecting your thoughts about what you just heard but they try to convince you saying,” Don’t worry dear, it will take at least two years to find the right groom/ bride”. Oh is it? Really?? Wasn’t I supposed to meet people, talk, travel and evaluate what or who is right for me?
But according to brown logic you can do it all after you are married to the person whom your parents think is right for you.
The Horse
When you are not convinced with the rook move, they use the horse now saying , “You are getting old” ( They are referring to your biological clock ticking forward thinking that, as years pass by your ability to bare children and take the brown lineage forward decreases :-D :-D But I think, considering our population, that Brown people are most horny and can do wonders with reproduction :-D :-D) .
Your age and your ability to bare children is inversely proportional according to them.
The Pawns - Too many Pawns.
As much as you desire to keep things to yourself and your family, Brown people just cant keep their shit to themselves. Every person you ever met in your life holds an opinion about your marriage/career. We have too many pawns-The relatives, friends, distant relatives, neighbors ,let’s just say that you once lived in a rented house twenty years ago and now that entire locality holds an opinion on these things!!! Surprised ? But that’s true. Not one of these pawns in their right brains think that ONLY YOU AND YOUR FAMILY SHOULD BE ENTITLED TO THE DISCUSSION OF MARRIAGE, REST OPINIONS ARE ALL GARBAGE, but no! It doesn’t blend like that with brown people.
The Bishop
Then they use the bishop by saying , “Your stars are signalling that you should get married”.
This is the most common thing in a Brown household- all the bad things that happen to you, that could be handled and treated in much better ways with right amount of thoughtfulness, rationalism and a pinch of love would be reduced to astrological facts(myths) and you are asked (forced) to perform rituals so that your stars align in ways to support you.
Failing in exams, falling in love with the wrong person, failing to crack interviews, sadness and depression, according to brown logic happen because your stars are not aligned properly. When the stars are aligned properly, you are also ready to get married. They don't care if you are ready mentally and prepared for this big leap in your life- #Brown Logic.
Fun fact, you should also consummate your marriage at the right alignment of stars . :-D And all this while I was of the opinion that the Zodiac signs were just meant for us to know the compatibility between ourselves and our crushes !! :-D #Equally Guilty
The Checkmate
They are getting Old, Period.
If you didn’t fall for all the above moves, you are now presented with the biggest and inescapable move, the Checkmate or Emotional blackmail. They start to convince you with their number theories that they are getting old and you should get married when they are healthy and safe so that they can be there for you and your future children. Now you realize that they start having plans for your children too :-D The fact that they even reduce their life expectancy to get you married is crazy ( scary and toxic).
Now it is up to you to decide what you would like to do, most of us fall for these tricks and get our asses ready to get married but I would like you to think otherwise. Remember, Benny from the film Ye Jawani Hai Deewani -he who wanted to fly, run, fall but didn’t want to stop ? Remember him? Please remember him once before your brown parent yells, “ This is real life and you are not Ranbir Kapoor, we are middle class parents with middle class dreams”. :-D :-D
This rant doesn’t mean that I do not love my Brown parents or I’m reducing all the efforts they put to give me a life that I enjoy today. I owe them a lot and I love them more than anything else in the world, but I’m not a fan of their logic. I wish Brown Parents got some chill.
Much Love,
Pooja Durgi
