5 tips to engage in active listening
Hey there,
First of all, I need to tell you what an incredible morning I had today. I think I have fallen in love with July. Calm, cozy, and peaceful. The birds have not stopped chirping since I woke up, feels like they are celebrating something.
So I was going through my drafts and found out that I missed publishing this important article on active listening. First off, why do I think active listening is important? Well… humans are built to socialize and you can incredibly benefit from just listening to build an amazing social life. Active listening is the key to build relationships anywhere you may think of. When we are not listening actively, we miss opportunities to connect with the other person and even risk making him or her feel neglected and disrespectful.
How do you indulge in active listening? Here are 5 tips you can follow.
- Stop looking at your phone
There, I said it. We have been taught from childhood that communication is 70% body language and 30% exchange of words. Falling prey to social media algorithms, that do not let us keep aside our phones we have forgotten how to use engaging body language. Looking into the speaker's eyes, occasionally nodding, and making them feel comfortable is very important in active listening. I mentally swipe left on people who indulge on their phones while they speak to me.
2. Paraphrase the sentence and ask questions
Ask questions wherever and whenever necessary. Use sentences like, “ If you would like to elaborate what you said…”, or “ when you say…. do you mean” or “ help me understand this better, do you mean….”, that makes the other person feel like she/he is being heard. Make sure that it is appropriate at the same time.
3. Do not judge
Absolutely do not judge the other person when they are venting. Humans are wired to understand that you are judging the other person just from your body language. Empathize and understand where the other person is coming from. Don't mentally prepare an essay to attack them after they have finished. Use sentences like,” I understand that you are feeling….because….”, to make other people feel like they are being heard.
4. Do not give advice until you are asked for
Often people know the solution to their problems. Understand that they are not looking for answers until they ask you specifically. You just want to pay an ear when they vent. Do your job and save your energy from solving other people’s problems. Show them your perspective and give them a direction, that’s all. At the same time, don't turn the tables and make it all about your story when you are talking about a similar situation that you have gone through.
5. Take turns
When you have made sure that you have actively listened to the other person, ask if it is okay to share your perspective. Make sure you are empathizing and not attacking them when it is your time to talk.
These are the five steps you will need to keep in mind if you want to have meaningful and engaging conversations with anybody in your life. It all boils down to being kind and empathetic whenever you are talking because you don't want to be misinterpreted as rude and resentful. If you like these tips, share them with your friends and anybody you think needs to follow and engage in active listening.
Much Love,
Pooja
